


overserved

by hydrospanners



Series: renegade [34]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: F!Jedi Knight x Doc mentioned, F/M, Gen, Humor, Post-Jedi Under Siege, Probably Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-27 02:00:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18188318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hydrospanners/pseuds/hydrospanners
Summary: When the Commander summons him to a backwater world for an emergency, Theron isn't expecting to find her in a rundown Chill-Eez knocking back sugary cocktails with her long-lost husband and brother. But when it comes to Rea you learn to expect the unexpected.





	overserved

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't the stupidest thing I've ever written but it's definitely top ten. Come get ya artisanal fruit juice, fam. Let's have some so-called "fun".

Four pairs of hands reach out, grasping at the empty air in the space where Jedi Master Nirea Velaran, the Hero of Tython and Commander of the Alliance, was just standing. She covers the length of the room in one leap, landing stomach-first across the bartop with a crack that sounds a lot like credits pouring out of the Alliance reserves. She giggles as she wobbles to her feet, knocking drinks to the floor on every side.

 

“Well,” Theron says. Lana looks at him with a resigned expression he’s come to know well over the last few years. In the booths around them, drunken voices rise up in a chant, demanding a speech.

 

Rea’s brother sighs into his artisanal fruit juice. “The more things change…”

 

“Oh, ease up,” Doc says. “She deserves to have a little fun.”

 

Theron, who remembers the last time she got well and truly drunk in vivid detail, isn’t sure he agrees.

 

Rea plucks one of the few surviving beer bottles from the bar and raises it to her mouth like a microphone, all the beer inside sloshing out onto the front of her suit. She doesn’t seem to notice. “I have so many people to thank for this victory,” she slurs. Her eyes are wet with unshed tears as she starts patting her hips, right where her lightsabers would be if Rhese hadn’t had the foresight to pinch them ten drinks ago. “My lightsabers,” she sniffles. “I couldn’t have done any of this without them.”

 

“Fuck yeah lightsabers!” Someone shouts from a table across the room. Rea beats her chest twice before pointing at them, nodding in solidarity.

 

“They’re so good! Y’know that humming noise they make?” She makes a buzzing sound into her beer bottle microphone that none of them can hear. “I love that sound.”

 

“She really does,” Doc confirms, watching her make a fool of herself with starsdamned hearts in his eyes.

 

“And y’know what? Let’s give the staff a round of applause for making tonight happen. Bringing people food is way harder than it looks. They have to be so nice. I might get stabbed a lot but at least I don’t have to be nice to the people who stab me.”

 

Theron glances at the restaurant staff huddled together by the kitchen door, waving nervously as Rea’s audience breaks into another round of cheers. He’s pretty sure their manager has local security on the holocomm.

 

“And also Theron too.” Rea pauses to burp. “For all the stabbings.”

 

Competing chants of “Theron” and “stabbing” go up all around them. Doc raises his glass to Theron as he enthusiastically joins in on the “stabbing” side. Lana and Rhese raise their glasses too, smiling at his misery.

 

Theron glares at them all and downs the rest of his whiskey. _This_ is the reason he doesn’t like to have so-called “fun”.

 

“Thanks Theron!” Rea hiccups, teetering unsteadily as she wiggles her arm in a gesture probably meant to be a wave. She isn’t going to last much longer up on that bar. He only hopes she doesn’t break anything important when she falls. It would be a damn shame if she survived this far just to die falling off the bar at a rundown Chill-Eez in the middle of nowhere.

 

Though it would definitely serve her right.

 

Rea gestures for quiet and the crowd catches on after a moment of confusion, their drunken chanting subsiding. Her glassy eyes land on their table and she starts to sniffle, her emotions taking yet another sharp left turn. “Last,” she says, her voice thick and tearful, “I wanna thank the Force. The Force gave me back my brother,” she points a wavering finger at Doc, “and my sexy husband,” she points to Rhese,  “and I—I—Hang on.” Rea pauses, scrubbing at her cheeks as she chokes on tears and snot. “I just wanna say that I feel the Force in this Chill-Eez tonight.”

 

Ten minutes later, their whole party is banned from every Chill-Eez in the galaxy and being escorted from the building by local security. (“We have a strict policy against overserving,” the manager explains. “Apparently this woman was stealing drinks from other tables.”) Rea keeps trying to kiss security while they cite her for public intoxication—she’s an uncomfortably affectionate drunk—but they don’t seem to mind.

 

The manager isn’t as easygoing. It takes a few hundred credits and a threatening look from Lana to shut him up about lawsuits.

 

As Rea’s benders go, one citation and a few hundred credits in property damage isn’t so bad. Theron just wishes people would stop shouting at him in the hallways about being stabbed.


End file.
